Sunday February 12, 2012 20:05

What do his text messages mean and how to decode them

Posted by tina_peril


Mixed Messages

Men and women communicate differently, but when the added barrier of technology is involved we might as well be speaking different languages. We asked Dr. Helen Fisher of Rutgers University, and relationship expert Andrea Syrtash for the best ways to figure out what he’s really saying and you won’t believe the results! It turns out he is listening, but not the way you think…


Is A One Word Text Bad?

Probably not. When you’re frustrated because a three-part text you just sent only received a “cool” response, remember that men are not verbal communicators. “Men are step-by-step thinkers, while women are web thinkers,’ says Dr. Helen Fisher. “They are trying to send and receive information while women are more about the process.” Try being more direct with text messages, and typing “6pm at my place?” instead of an exhaustive message debating where to have dinner.


Timing Tells A Lot

We all know about 4 a.m. text messages. If a guy only texts you late at night to hang out and you’ve never shared a meal or a conversation with him, you may be a booty call,” says Andrea Syrtash, relationship expert and author of He’s Just Not Your Type (And That’s a Good Thing). But what about that guy who texts at strange times and is always “out of town” on the weekends? “If someone texts at really odd hours and isn’t free to chat during pique times like weekends or evenings, he may be involved with someone else.”


Is He Really Listening?

When it seems like a guy is ignoring a lot of your
texts, consider some serious editing before assuming he’s thoughtless. “I send more than one email if I have more than one point of discussion,” says Dr. Helen Fisher. Men get lost in multiple messages, so either put the most important point at the beginning of your text or send more than one.


Don’t Get Freaked Out By His E-Flirting

If it seems like he is coming on a little strong via text, that’s because he is. When guys flirt through texting they can come off as more overt than in person where tone and body language are aids in delivering a flirtatious message. But women are no strangers to sexting. Syrtash explains, “Men use texts to exchange information more than women, who use texts to connect. Both men and women use the tool to e-flirt – that’s universal!” So cut him some slack when he seems too forward or sends an unwelcome “poke”.


Avoid Cell-Centric Arguments

If your man isn’t as receptive or compromising during an argument via text as he is in person, it’s not because he cares less. Most of the time text messages leave women misinterpreting signs that he didn’t even mean to send. “Important issues should be discussed in spoken words, not typed words!” says Syrtash. “The issue with text messages is that you may read into something (literally!) without having the same context you would have if you had a discussion and could respond.”

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